To My Precious One- I will hold you soon!

Happy, excited, and full of joy
The Lord has blessed us with a baby girl or boy.
We went to the Lord and let our desire be made known
And asked for His faithfulness to be shown.
He heard and He answered with this reply,
"I have heard you, and send blessings from on high."

The days dragged on, the long days passed
And it was time to see the doctor, at last!
We were so excited to get a good look
But then, a different turn it took.
Something went wrong, I could tell by his face,
As he said, "There is no longer a baby in place."
"What do you mean?" I cried in defeat!
"Your little one no longer has a heartbeat."

My world crumbled, my world fell apart
As pieces began to chip off of my heart.
No longer was it only my baby's heart at stake,
Now this mommy's heart, too, was starting to break.
And as I cried, each drop fell tear by tear
And then I heard my Father's voice loud and clear,
"My child, you are hurt, and know not what to do
But I love you, and I am not through.
I heard you, and I answered your prayer
And again I will prove that I am always there.
Though you long to kiss your baby's face,
He's much better off cuddled in God's grace.
For up on my lap he's surrounded by love
As God's peace is poured on you from above.

How my heart aches as I feel such loss
But my God understands, for His baby died on the cross.
I question, and wonder, and don't understand why
But my God sent His baby to die.
My Jesus bled, and My Jesus, He died
So one day, your mommy could hold you with pride.

Because of this, Lord, let your will be done
Even if it's through my daughter or son.
Fill my heart with joy and peace
So through me, your glory will never cease.
As the potter, mold your servant, and make me like clay
And use this little life to bring you glory each day.

And my precious one, I'll hold you one day
Thanks to my Lord, who has paved the way.
When I see you, your sweet hand I will hold
And together we'll walk the streets of gold.

So when my work on Earth is through,
What a gift to get to hold you!!
But until that day, my little one,
You stay cuddled up to the Son!

I love you and will hold you soon!!! Love, Your Mommy

"I Will Praise You in This Storm!"

As many of you know, we had our first doctor's appointment for the baby on Thursday. I was 10 weeks. Dr. Wendel did an ultrasound and was not able to find the heartbeat. I had surgery on Friday, and now- Stephen, Abby Anne, and I are trying to process what has occurred and move on with our life as the Lord would have us to. We have experienced so many feelings over the past few days. We have lost a baby- our baby....we never got to hold our precious baby, sing to our baby, and Abby Anne never got to boss that little baby around...but one day- we will see our baby face to face. So many songs and Bible verses have been flooding my mind over the past days, and I wanted to share them:

"Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

"Great is thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see!"

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow like sea billows roll, WHATEVER MY LOT, thou hast taught me to say, it is well- it is well with my soul."

"I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth."

"I will praise you in this storm, I will lift my hands
For you are who you are, no matter where I am.
Every tear I cry, you hold in your hands
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm!"

Please pray for us during the next days...that we will have peace and know that our baby is with Pop, Grandma, and Grandpa Carlisle....and JESUS!! And we will get to join the party with our precious baby one day soon!